Tag Archives: Manipulation

Meetups, confusing generosity with an expected return

Break out of the free culture and stop expecting people to do stuff for free, but we all have to be the leaders that we want to see.

This ‘Gary Vaynerchuk’ approach of ‘give, give, give and then boom, sock it to ’em’ is a bastardised version of manipulation with expectation that turns to disappointment when those expectations are not fulfilled. That is the thing, be a kind, generous person by default and that is different to giving your work away for free.

Being generous is when you do something without expectation, with no conditions, sure there is an intention that you want to do something that makes you feel good, but the moment you add an expectation of others to the intention, then it becomes a manipulation, and that is not generosity.

So give, but give as defined with no expectation. As regards your work, again give your work away if that is simply to make you happy and bring that great feeling to you that true generosity brings, and if you always have the mindset of needing a return, then don’t give. But people are abusing this situation and all the time we allow it to happen, then we are supporting it to our detriment too.

If you run a workshop or a Meetup or you give your time, then do that just because you want to do it and then not charging is fine and totally the right thing to do. However, if you are doing those things with the purpose of achieving an expected outcome of more business, then charge for it, as then it is clear to others and to you that is a business transaction and that removes disappointment from you and it brings clarity to the attendees. It may put off the people who may just come for something free or may choose on the day to simply not bother, as you have managed their expectations of what you are offering and that is of value and that your time is of value. You are clear that there is an expected return.

A Meetup, for example, could be used to generate value or it can be a frustrating journey of wrong expectations and disappointments. It is not the attendees or lack of them that is a fault it is the person who organises the Meetup. Actually, it is not even a mistake, it is learning to value your time and not to confuse giving with an expected return.

Give because you want and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Create value because that is the outcome you want to achieve. You expect something back so charge for your work. Be clear.



An overload of ‘shock and awe’ news over the last few decades have anaesthetised the population to almost anything.

There is selective fake hysterical shock whipped up by the media to cause division and distraction about certain things such as benefit cheating, ‘terror’ and celebrity news. Essentially the creation of people or things to hate and vilify.

Now the ‘machine’ has succeeded in controlling the masses in an Orwellian way that previous despots and dictators could have only dreamed off in their warped heads. The 20th-century villains we amateurs in comparison.

The level of questioning and curiosity with the narrative presented to us is almost zero, the blind acceptance is at best staggering. People have become fearful of different, fearful of questioning and with an education system programmed for compliance, removal of creativity and the enforcement of the myths that control us, the chance of this changing is diminished further. Maybe many are fearful of a different voice, fearful of listening, as they may have to challenge what they believe, maybe they will not fit in anymore. Better perhaps to fit in than to look through a different set of glasses.

The excuses of ‘what can I do?’ used to allow ourselves off the hook has always been there, but I do believe that it is now deeper than mild indifference, or feeling of inability to change the situation, it is now that most are cold and unaffected, programmed to accept. A blind faith that the one voice is right and any variance is treason, dangerous and must be silenced.

Not that they are bad humans or maliciously uncaring, it is that the overwhelm, the manipulation, the conditioning and myths that we follow have created a canvas for the ruling elite to get away with almost anything.

All I would say is remain curious, follow your instincts, have the courage to voice what you believe and be prepared to be open to all views and opinions. You may stay with the same views and that is OK, in fact, none of my business as this is all opinion. But worth exploring at very least that there could be an alternative to what we are told.

The anaesthetic wears off eventually and the more you question, the quicker it goes. The better informed we become when we take into account all voices, even if you do not like some of them.

On all sides of the debate, it is better not be anaesthetised with only your worldview.