Punishing others

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As humans, we tend to react to perceived injustices to ourselves with a punisher approach, some can be a victim or both.

The punishing others approach, seems like a win at the time, as you are getting back at someone.

We feel right is on our side, we feel it is just to inflict our punishment, whatever that maybe. Often ignoring others completely, or deliberately being cold or a little difficult and so on.

The person we’re punishing will matter to you. Perhaps instead of punishing, we could choose to forgive, accept that they were acting with their best intentions, and then remind them of our boundaries of what is acceptable to us or not.

Whatever, let go, forgive and move on. Life is too short for wasting on punishing, it never makes the recipient react well or feel inspired to act differently. It often becomes a repeating pattern.

It is up to us and vitally important to set out what our boundaries are and to stick to them. Explain and discuss with others. Don’t assume they acted badly. However, we can’t expect others to know what’s acceptable to us or not unless we tell them.

But never punish, as we are only, in fact, punishing ourselves by destroying a relationship with another person who matters.

Be generous with boundaries.

Punishment punishes everyone including the punisher.

Start on what matters right now

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If something really matters at a moment in our lives, then we will always find the motivation, the time, the effort and the focus to get it done once we have overcome our fears, which gets easier the more we practice.

The excuses come when something really does not matter, certainly as much as we sometimes profess it to matter or feel pressured to say that it’s important.

We aren’t born with knowing what is the most important thing and rarely is there a single reason for our existence. However, unless we try different things, unless we give something a go, we will never know if it works or not, we will never learn and evolve to our best potential.

Once we start out on pursuing our dreams, we learn sometimes that this was not for us, not the thing that mattered as much as we thought.That’s OK, we are allowed to change our minds.

What is a great shame is if we never set out on things that matter at that moment, do not take that current burning desire, as we will never evolve, we will never get the chance to discover something magical that just might be our thing in life.

Rarely do our priorities, interests, inspirations remain constant for a lifetime, they change, evolve, and get better, however, only if we start on what matters to us right now.

Don’t remain stuck regretting what might have been and don’t miss that opportunity to open pathways to greater things, you have to try to know what’s next.